What Men Want?

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Men are pretty simple creatures when compared to their counterparts. Their expectations are limited but they fail to vocally ask for what they seek. This is the root cause for all mayhem. So, what do men really want from women?



• Physically

Good old sex is not what all men expect from all women. So, the physical expectations I am talking about are quite different. The simplest thing that men expect is a smile from the women they encounter. A ‘how-do-you-do’ smile from neighbor, ‘love you’ smile from wife, ‘yes – the boss is crazy’ smile from colleague and ‘you’re the greatest dad’ smile from daughter is more than enough to sparkle their day.

• Emotionally

Men hate two things – responsibility and long-winded explanations. So, women, don’t make the men in your life responsible for your happiness. Learn to be happy with or without them. That is not only what they expect from you, which is also what would bring them even closer to you.

Also, after a quarrel or argument, make up and shut up. They hate long explanations about the history, geography and geometry of quarrels.

• Socially

Men expect women to have basic etiquette, good humour and elegance. So, women, be careful not to pick your nose in public, hog up food at a party or blog nastily about your hubby’s best friend! They will surely hate you for it!

• Culturally

Talk all you want about the metrosexual modern man but the Indian man is deeply rooted in culture and values, at least when it comes to the women he shares his house with. So, men expect women not only to be homely but also to be ethnical and ethical.
If a man finds a woman who meets all the above expectations and also loves him unconditionally, he considers his life to be blessed.

Amlokiblogs: What activity in your life marries well with your writing?

Amlokiblogs: What activity in your life marries well with your writing?

What marries well with my writing?

When I read Damyanti's post on how cooking combines well with her writing career, I was wondering about what actually works for me. You may find this funny... I find my writing to be best when I am looking after a kid below a year old.

Sleepless nights patting and walking up and down with a wailing kid in my arms puts me into an 'artistic' coma the entire day that seems very feasible for my writing career. I land up with loads of fresh ideas and thoughts for stories and poems when I nurse my son in a half-dazed state. The only problem is with writing them down. Where's the time?

And, even if I do find the time... I lose out on the flow! Just as I am coming to an interesting part, the baby wakes up or wants to be picked or has had an explosion in his diaper. Distractions are just too many...

This is when I stumbled upon Tony Buzan's Mind-Mapping Strategy.


Image source : www.mindtools.com (Google Images)

According to wikipedia, a mind-map has been explained as follows:

'Mind maps are, by definition, a graphical method of taking notes. Their visual basis helps one to distinguish words or ideas, often with colors and symbols. They generally take a hierarchical or tree branch format, with ideas branching into their subsections. Mind maps allow for greater creativity when recording ideas and information, as well as allowing the note-taker to associate words with visual representations. Mind maps differ from concept maps in that mind maps focus on only one word or idea, whereas concept maps connect multiple words or ideas.
A key distinction between mind maps and modelling graphs is that there is no rigorous right or wrong with mind maps, relying on the arbitrariness of mnemonic systems. A UML Diagram or a Semantic network has structured elements modelling relationships, with lines connecting objects to indicate relationship. This is generally done in black and white with a clear and agreed iconography. Mind maps serve a different purpose: they help with memory and organisation. Mind maps are collections of words structured by the mental context of the author with visual mnemonics,and, through the use of colour, icons and visual links are informal and necessary to the proper functioning of the mind map.'

Also, Wikipedia gives guidelines to create mind maps:

'In his books on Mind Maps author Tony Buzan suggests using the following guidelines for creating Mind Maps:

1. Start in the center with an image of the topic, using at least 3 colors.
2. Use images, symbols, codes, and dimensions throughout your Mind Map.
3. Select key words and print using upper or lower case letters.
4. Each word/image is best alone and sitting on its own line.
5. The lines should be connected, starting from the central image. The central lines are thicker, organic and flowing, becoming thinner as they radiate out from the centre.
6. Make the lines the same length as the word/image they support.
7. Use multiple colors throughout the Mind Map, for visual stimulation and also to encode or group.
8. Develop your own personal style of Mind Mapping.
9. Use emphasis and show associations in your Mind Map.
10. Keep the Mind Map clear by using radial hierarchy, numerical order or outlines to embrace your branches.

This list is itself more concise than a prose version of the same information and the Mind Map of these guidelines is itself intended to be more memorable and quicker to scan than either the prose or the list.'



Image Source: Wikipedia

Now days, when I land up on a great idea, I mind-map it on a huge sketch pad. This way, at least it is down before I forget it. Then I work on it in peace whenever I have the time. The flow is also not disturbed as the mind-map is a beautiful visual reminder that gets me back to where I left. Why don't you try it out too...



Image Source: Wikipedia

Life's Questions

In the death camps of Nazi Germany, Victor Frankyl learned to ask himself the question,
'what is it that life is asking of me?'
instead of
'what is it I want from life?'

As I read these words in the book, 'Living the 7 Habits' by Stephen R. Covey, my mind paused a second and I wondered upon this question. I could think of a few things that life has asked of me - most of which I ignored, blaming the circumstances.

Then my phone beeped. It was an sms,
'An Essential Writing Trait: Perseverance. Maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement.'

Sounds good! Ok! But what is it that life is asking of me? The first thing that popped to my mind was 'rearing my two sons in such a way that they are physically cherished, mentally fit, emotionally nurtured and socially skilled'. Not an easy job for any mother. Still somehow, I have never felt satisfied with only that single role of 'mother'. I have always wanted to do something else too. But what?I know I will go to a job in another 3 years. What should that job be? Lets see the options:

1. Should I join as a CA in some company? Or
2. Shall I start my own firm? Or
3. What about trying to crack the civil services? (a long-term dream) or
4. How about a career in marketing/copywriting? (I have a few years experience in this and love the job).

As I pondered on all this, the thought nagged me - 'why don't you continue with what you are doing now - writing?' and then the questions start,

Am I any good in what I am doing?
Will I earn anything via this?
Isn't this good only as a hobby?
What right do I have to call myself as a writer without having even a single published book to my name?

Then slowly a voice hushes all my concerns. "You write because you want to do it. It is not for the money, fame or status. It is just an urgent need to talk out loud about what is going on in your head. Just do what you want to and everything else will follow in its own time," it says.

Anyways, I have another 3 years before I take the decision. Till then, I can only write...

Is it okay to copy feature articles?

Yesterday, one of my editors called up with yet another sad story of how a writer had just copy-pasted several of her articles from the web. She was sad and disappointed by the mixed ideas imposed on her - one of which was "It is okay to copy features".

She told me that it was definitely not okay and wanted my opinion too. I was reminded of an interview I read of J.K.Rowling in the newspaper.

Someone had claimed the Harry Potter series to be copied from their works. It was subsequently proved in the courts that the allegation was false. J.K.Rowling said of the incident, "It was like having someone call my child as their own".

That is the truth with any piece of work, whether fiction, non-fiction or features, I feel. What do you think? Is it okay to copy feature articles?

Becoming A Writer - Book Review

Becoming A Writer
By Dorothea Brande

This little book published in 1934 is relevant to all writers across the globe even today. The book will help you reassess yourself and be a wake-up call to make you get up and get doing!

My biggest enemy has been and continues to be laziness. And the first person to rudely awaken me from my state of stupor has been Brande. Her 'either do it or quit being a writer' command has spurred me to action many a time. I have read and reread the book so many times and have found fresh energy and inspiration each time I turn towards it.

Some insights from the book I found highly useful:

1. Brande urges us to write the first thing every morning. No loo, no tea, no talk, no newspaper, no book - just write!

2. Brande asks us to fix a writing appointment with ourselves every morning for just 15 minutes. Say, for example, you fix an appointment to write at 4 p.m. At 4 p.m., you need to write irrespective of whatever comes at that time. You might even need to lock yourself up in the bathroom to write undisturbed at that time but you need to do it.

The above two points are stressed upon by Brande and she asks you to quit being a writer if you cannot follow through with this. Apart from that, the book also has some more interesting ideas about:

3. Cultivating a writer's temperament and lifestyle

4. How to read as a writer

5. Whether to take advice from others? When?

6. How to and how not to imitate other writers?

7. And lots more...

Also, the most valuable thing that Brande teaches in the book is the writer's magic - how to unleash the genius within you to bring originality and creativity in your work.

The first book I would recommend every writer to read.

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A New Resolution on Diwali

Yesterday, we celebrated Diwali - the festival of lights - in a joyous and generous spirit. As I was wrapping up all festivities and getting ready to go to bed, I realised all these diyas and candles were making me feel very inspired. I was wishing for my life to be so bright too!

And the one thing that can make me happy, brighten my day and paste a smile on my face is to see my name in print and to get paid for it too. For that to happen as often as possible, I need to write as much as I can.

So, I decided my resolution for this coming year is "DON'T WASTE ANY TIME - JUST WRITE"

Having an infant and toddler at home is making this more difficult to do. So, I was brainstorming for ideas to fit writing into my schedule and look at all that I came up with:

* Don't write on paper and type again. Type directly into your laptop or your new Nokia E5.

* Write while nursing. I am quite adept at doing this. I am even doing so now but I don't do it as often as I think I should.

* Write while Sanju (my elder son) is at school.

* Write before the kids wake up.

* Write after the kids are in bed.

* Tap on the E5 while Sanju plays outdoors in the evening and the baby is sleeping.

Can you people come up with some more ideas too?

Welcome to my new blog

I love blogging. I consider it therapeutic.
I love writing. I consider it therapeutic too.
And, it was inevitable that I combine both my loves too!
Welcome to my new blog on all about writing.
I plan to write here about the ups and downs of my freelance writing career, of being a writing mom (I have 2 kids, 4.5 years and 3 months old) ,of my writers bureau creative writing course, of working from home and of life n writing in general.
Also, I'll list here the books I read and review them too.
Apart from that, I will keep you updated about the writing competitions, etc. that I come across, which may be useful to you too.