Saturday, February 19, 2011

Should I start work again?

I was interested in jumping once again into the world of paid writing and I did apply to umpteen companies too.

However, my hubby seems very skeptical of the entire idea. He feels I just wouldn't be able to manage with a mischeivous toddler (can he be considered still a toddler just becoz he behaves like one?) and an infant who feels sleep and meals are over-rated!

The little one is screaming his head off right now and that makes me think hubby does have a valid point. But, at other times, I wonder if hubby is a wee bit scared of facing a woman who hasn't had a decent night's sleep but is trying to persevere doing something she loves. I can get grumpy at such times.

So, should I start work or not? Still wondering?!!!!!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Promises made just to be broken

Promises! Promises! Promises! I told myself I would write everyday, come what may... But then it has just not happened. I have been off for more than 2 months and strangely, I am not even angry with myself.

I had my reasons. Entire december was spent n cleaning the house for guests and in entertaining them. And January has flown away... Apart from nursing the colds and coughs of every member of the family and starting a very reluctant six month old on solids, I don't have anything much to report for the entire first month of a brand new year. Strangely, I am not frustrated, irritated, upset, angry or feeling useless. I feel like a million bucks and January has been a month when I have finally grown up and come to terms with myself.

I have not even been online a single day the entire month and I don't care. Though I did read some great books, I haven't written a single word the entire month and I don't care. Now, I realise that it is not all this that defines who I really am... It is not my writing or my doing something 'useful' in life that would boost my self-worth. It is being who I am and enjoying who I am that matters.

If I want to write today, I will irrespective of whether it is from a cramped E5 keyboard from my mobile or whether it is past 12 in the night (like now!) The reason why I did not write this month was not because I did not have time, as I popularly tell everybody. You can always find time if you want to! I did not write because I am so much enjoying this second chance at mothering that God has thrown my way. I am drinking in every second of it carefully because deep in my heart I know I can and I will always write but I might never again get to see another toothless grin coz those tiny teeth are waiting to sprout out any minute now.

But, don't write me off...


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...